Pimp Quest
by bob-the-blue
Summary: Complete. The latest, and to date longest PIMPHARRY story. Enjoy.


**A/N: **Someone complained that I warned of sexual content in the last PIMPHARRY story, and failed to deliver. So in response to that, I give you….

**PIMP QUEST**

Over the centuries there have been many stories of incredibly powerful weapons. Excalibur, the Elder Wand, Thor's Hammer and the Pimp cane of Power all being examples. It was the last one on that list that had sixth year Harry Potter interested. He had been researching ways of fighting Riddle in the Library lately. He came across reference of it in a tome entitled 'Five little friends keep your Hos in line'. It listed a number of locations where someone could find the instructions for the Ritual to Summon the Judges. One of the locations was with the Lovegood family. Once a wizard summoned the judges, they had to prove they were a Pimp who deserved the Pimp Cane of Power.

Harry went in search of his good, but odd friend Luna Lovegood. He found her sitting by herself on the grass near the lake. She had a serene smile on her face.

"Hey Luna. How's it going?"

"Quite well Harry Potter. I learned a new spell recently that makes your wand vibrate silently."

"And where is your wand Luna?" asked Harry. Luna gave him a look telling him he knew damn well where her want was. Harry was one of the few people who knew how much of a freak Luna was. Harry used the term freak with affection in regards to Luna. It wasn't a nice word to use in Harry's presence, it having bad connotations with his childhood and all. But Luna Lovegood was one of the biggest freaks Harry knew. She was a sexual freak. You just had to understand Luna to see it. And weirdly enough, Harry understood Luna very well at this point.

Harry knew which odd looks on Luna's face meant nipple clamps, or vibrating panties, or when she had burned off all over her pubic hair the night before. Luna used code words for EVERYTHING. Harry had figured out maybe half of what her code words were. Figuring all of that out made reading the Quibbler very x rated. In fact, Harry took to wanking off with it instead of 'Busty Witch Weekly'. Harry often wondered if her Dad was in on the code or not.

Harry took a seat on the grass behind Luna. He reached over and started to massage her shoulders.

"Luna dear?" Luna moaned in acknowledgment. "Have you ever heard of the Ritual to Summon the Judges?" Luna continued to moan. It started to get louder as she approached having an orgasm. Her wand plus Harry's touch…..

"SHAZZZZZAAAAAAM!" yelled Luna. Why Luna yelled Shazam when she came was beyond Harry. The only thing really scary about it is, that Harry has known that fact since Luna's first year.

Luna looked up at Harry with a big smile. "Harry, you think you're pimp enough for that?"

"I have a plan." Harry told Luna his plan. Luna laughed.

"That might actually work. But there's one small flaw in this plan of yours."

"And what's that?"

"What most books don't mention."

"Luna…." Harry groaned.

"It's not something that would come up with any other pimp. But you're special Harry. The Judges won't deem anyone worth if they're still a Virgin."

Yes ladies and gentlemen, Harry Potter is a virgin. Sixteen years old and never stuck himself inside a lady. Now, this wouldn't be such a big deal with most boys his age. Hell, it wouldn't even be that bad if Harry were just a normal Boy-Who-Lived. But this was Pimp Harry. Just about any discussion lasting more then ten minutes about the sex scene at Hogwarts will bring up Harry's name at least four times. Harry avoided participating in the orgy the summer prior on stage by having Dennis Creevy polyjuice himself to look like Harry. Harry had used Dennis as a stunt cock a good number of times. Dennis was way too happy to help.

"Shit!" swore Harry.

"It's not so bad Harry. Just lose your V card." Luna reached down into Harry pants and grabbed a hold of Little Harry. Well, not so little. "I can help you if you want."

"I don't know Luna. You're my friend. I mean, I know I've whored you out god knows how many times."

"Don't forget about those beastiality pornos you had me do for charity."

"But I think fucking you would ruin our special friendship."

"But Harry, I've wanted you inside me for the longest time." Harry pulled Luna's hands out of his pants and picked the two of them up. He then reached down into Luna's panties and inserted his finger all the way into her pussy. Luna squeeled in pleasure. After a second, Harry pulled out.

"There, I've been inside you. Can we go get lunch now?"

"You're supposed to say 'Bitch come.' If you weren't so damn talented, you'd be the worse pimp ever Harry." Harry kissed Luna on her nose.

"Thank you Luna."

Twenty minutes later found the two of them sitting at lunch.

"Susan Bones."

"No."

"Hannah Abbot."

"No."

"Cho Chang."

A slight pause.

"No."

"Ginny W…"

"No."

"Padma"

"No."

"Terry Boot."

"No. Wait, what?"

Luna shrugged. "I'm starting to think you swing that way Harry."

"Well I don't."

"Then why don't you find yourself a nice sweet pussy to sink you huge cock into. I've felt it Harry. Damn. Just damn. If you don't find a girl soon, I'll be tempted to report you for a crime."

"What crime?"

"I'm sure that Madame Bones would agree with me that you not using that tool should be illegal."

"Luna, look. I just haven't found myself in the right situation. I know most guys jump at the chance to get laid. But with me, I see how meaningless it all is. Fuck that. I'm about having a good time, but the drama and bullshit it can lead to…..Not to mention, with everything I know, I know who has what. And who's been with who, and how often." Harry shuddered.

"Oh you, shush. Just write your letter. I need to figure out how to trick you into a one night stand….perhaps a three girl sundae…." Luna started mumbling x rated ideas to herself. Harry smiled at most of it. He finished writing up his letter and sent it off with Hedwig. Even though he was having trouble with half his plan, he could at least get to work on the other part.

Two weeks later it was a Hogsmeade weekend. Harry met up with Fleur at the Three Broomsticks. They got themselves a private table.

"Everything go alright?" Harry asked. Fleur pulled out a folder and handed it to Harry.

"Here you are. Check for yourself." As Harry started to read over it, Fleur commented "The goblins are very excited about this. I can tell you'll be their new best friend."

Harry pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Fleur. "Show this to the goblins, they should give you ten percent." Fleur's eyes widened.

"But…"

"You earned it."

"I hardly did anything really…."

"Alright." Harry took back the piece of paper. He pulled out a second one. "Now you get twenty percent."

Fleur was speechless.

"Say 'thank you Harry'." Harry said with a smile.

"Thank you Harry. Do you need anything else?"

Harry shrugged. "I do have one other problem I need to figure out before I can continue. But I'm fine. Thanks."

"What do you need Harry?" asked Fleur. Harry mumbled something under his breath. "What was that?"

"I said I need to lose my cherry." Fleur's eyes widened again. "Please don't laugh."

"I wasn't going to laugh. Honest." Harry looked as if he didn't believe her. "I just think it's so romantic."

"You're French. Of course you would. And that wasn't meant as an insult."

"I know. You English are clueless when it comes to romance. Most of the time. And there's nothing like giving a girl a few million galleons to make her panties soaking wet."

"I couldn't Fleur. I'd feel like I was buying you."

"Coming from a pimp, that's kind of funny."

"Just cause I sell it doesn't mean I buy it."

"What if I told you I wanted to take you up stairs right this minute, throw you down on the bed and fuck your brains out all night?"

"Then I'd tell you I'm an idiot. An absolute fool. But a fool who isn't going to taint his friendship."

"Harry, you just pimped me out last night." Harry shrugged.

"Luna says I'm weird like that. And speaking of Luna, she said she'd be more then happy to tie you down and make you scream. She knew how horny you were going to get today." Harry winked at Fleur as he got up and left.

"Harry, wait. I think I can really help you. Go to this address tomorrow evening." Fleur quickly wrote down an address on a napkin and handed it to Harry. After Harry left, Fleur grinned like a Cheshire Cat.

The next night found Harry flooing into a large French manor. How he was able to get away from school was one of his many secrets. He found himself arriving in a large, dark room.

Seconds later, a light came on and Harry found himself surrounded by witches.

"Um…Hello." Said Harry. These girls looked scary. Not 'I'm gonna kill you scary', but more along the lines of 'I'm going to do things you'd never thought possible.' "Fleur sent me here."

"Fleur? One of the younger girls asked. She looked slightly younger then Harry. Not by much though. "Why would my sister send a male? She knows what I'm going through."

"What are you going through?" Harry asked.

"How rude of me. My name is Gabrielle."

"I didn't recognize you. It's been a few years, and you looked a lot younger." Said Harry as he looked her over. "Harry Potter. I'm sure you don't remember…" Harry didn't get to finish his sentence as Gabrielle wrapped him in a kiss. Harry was surprised, but returned the kiss of the cute girl. As they kissed, all the other girls started walking out, leaving the two of them alone.

"I take it you do remember?" asked Harry as they separated.

"How could I ever forget my Hero?"

"Aw…I'm not a hero, anyone would have done the same…"

"But they didn't. It was you who pulled me out of the water. And now my sister has sent you to me at this time." Gabrielle's smile was so large, that Harry couldn't stop himself from smiling. "Come. I'll show you to my room."

"Where exactly are we?" Harry asked as they walked quickly.

"We are at my cousin's estate outside of Paris. Normally I would be in school, but when a Veela's fifteen…"

"You're fifteen? Wow, you really looked young….not that you don't now. You look beautiful. This is me shutting up now." Gabrielle laughed at Harry's antics.

"Like I was saying. When a Veela, or part Veela, is 15, she goes through changes and gets…well….horny. Dangerously so. Hard to be around boys. Really hard to be around them."

Harry saw where this was going. He'd seen enough old Star Trek episodes to know you don't resist when a girl who's not all human wants to mate. Unless you know she's planning on eating you. And even that wouldn't be so bad.

As soon as they entered Gabrielle's room, she locked the door and threw Harry down on the bed. She looked almost like a dancer as her night gown fell to the floor. Harry stared at her naked form. Damn she was hot. And at fifteen, Harry knew she was only going to get better looking.

Gabrielle pounced on Harry, ripping at his clothes and kissing him. Harry helped her in both regards. Very soon a naked Gabrielle was sliding herself down onto a naked Harry's very hard penis. She cried out as Harry popped her cherry. A few seconds later she started to move herself up and down on him. Slowly and awkwardly at first, but it didn't take long for her to find her groove. Veela were very sexual creatures. But they weren't easy. Far from it. Harry didn't know how honored he should feel that two offered, and one succeeded.

The two teenagers were moaning quite heavily together. They had just started, but both were close to finishing. And with the way they were working, it was going to happen at the same time.

And it did.

The both came hard at the same moment, screaming out.

Harry held Gabrielle as the two of them just laid there in the blood, cum and other bodily fluids for a few minutes.

"Wanna go again?" Harry asked.

"Fuck yeah." Said Gabrielle.

During the seventh inning stretch, Harry decided to complete the Ritual of Summoning the Judges. Wearing nothing but a pair of silk boxers and an open silk robe, Harry yelled out into the night "Yall Pimps and Playas better recognize." A few seconds later, the room was filled with swirling color, as pimps of all colors and sizes started to appear. By all colors, blues, bright reds, purples. Albus would have felt right at home in such a flamboyant display.

"Who's called this gathering?" yelled out a high pitched voice of a pimp in a purple suit.

"I did. Harry Potter. Son of James. I claim to be the biggest pimp in the damn room. I say you're all of bunch of wanna bes in comparison to my greatness."

"I'm a Pimp Named Slick Back, and you're just a little boy. I once pimped out three hundred bitches in one night. Mother fucker, I made a hundred grand that night."

"In one night, I pimped one bitch." Everyone started to laugh. "And if my conversion math is right, I made nearly two billion pounds." The room went silent.

"How the fuck did you do that?"

"I'm just that damn good bitches. And it also doesn't hurt to send a French Veela to a prison filled with the heads of a lot of rich families. Cleaned out a good number of bank accounts just to play with her tits. I think the most she did was wank one guy off."

"DAAAAAAAAAMMMMMM!!!!!" everyone in the room said. A Pimp Named Slick Back waved his hand.

"Hey you go."

The golden cane appeared in front of Harry. He grabbed a hold of it, inspecting it's fine craftsmanship. At the top, was a golden hand. It was in a backhand form, so it could be used to slap bitches. Harry would never use it for that. He had never slapped a bitch in his life. He'd never needed to. He always thought lowly of pimps who needed to use force.

Harry left France with a new weapon and a new girlfriend. Tom was in some deep shit.

END

**A/N: **Even though they're both PIMPHARRY stories, this and 'I don't want to' are not in the same universe. But this, 'Harry Birthday Ron' and 'The plays' the thing' are.

Luna Quote I wonder if I'll ever use:

"_You know what I hate? I hate waking up in the morning and knowing I've had Weasley cock in me the night before, but can't for the life of me remember which one."_


End file.
